What does it take to be a leader
by XxxEarlCielPhantomhivexxX
Summary: Tai's always been the leader right, but when Kari falls sick, his courage wavers and everything falls apart. Can Matt snap him out of it and is Tai in love with him? This came to me after rewatching the episode when Kari got sick.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I No Own ANYTHING.

This came to me after rewatching the episode when Kari gets sick and wondered what would happen if it happened a little differently and it lead on to this. Well I hope you enjoy it^^

And I need a break from my other digimon fic "Half"

Oh yeah and I didn't put any digimon in this fic so…

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Tai's POV

"Here try eating this Kari." I held out a stone bowl filled with berries to her. She moaned and pushed it away lightly, not enough strength to speak. I sighed, blinked back my tears and took the wet towel on her forehead and dunked it into a bowl full of cold water by her side, squeezed the water out and place it back carefully onto her boiling head.

"I'm sorry Kari…I shouldn't have pushed you so hard…I'm sorry…" I sobbed by her side quietly without any reply coming from the sick body. If only I had paid more attention to her…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*a few days ago~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Come on guys! Let's go!" I shouted taking the lead as always. We were almost there; I could see a cave from my place on top of the hill. I had to keep everyone's hopes up; I can't show that I doubted that we'll reach there in time before the storm clouds will reach us... As the leader I had to.

"TAI!" Sora suddenly shouted urgently. "Kari's sick!"

"What?!" I turned around and saw Kari cradled in Sora's arms, cheeks flushed and sweating.

"KARI!" I ran towards them and held her in my arms. "Kari…talk to me…" I whispered.

"…I'm…I'm okay Tai…I can still go on." She said so softly I had to strain my ears to hear her, and then she fainted.

We ran to the cave after that, I was the first to reach it. Kari's fever hasn't been able to come down after all I did. Joe gave her some of the precious aspirin we were saving this morning but so far, it hasn't taken any effect.

If only I paid more attention to her I would've seen that she needed to stop and rest. Matt wouldn't have done this, he's always protective to TK and never done anything that could harm him. Tears forced their way through my clenched eyes and fell to the cold, hard ground their sounds echoing through the cave. I won't have put Kari here in the cold cavern but it's the safest place we could find and the fire nearby is hopefully enough to keep her warm.

"Tai…." A thin, frail voice called out. "Please don't cry."

I looked down as Kari wiped the tears from my face gently, her touches as soft as an angel's feathers.

"K-Kari? Are you alright now?" I choked out between my silent tears.

"Yeah I think I'm getting better."

I held and embraced her tightly and sobbed onto her shoulder.

"I was so worried about you…I didn't know if you'll make it…I don't know what I'll do if I lost you." I whispered in her ear as she held me closer and replied, "I know Tai, I know…"

The next morning

Joe's been taking care of Kari all night while I just sat next to him, I couldn't do anything to help. I always was doing something and not being able to do anything made me feel like a waste of space. I just sat there thinking to myself that I'll never let this happen to Kari again, I'll protect her best I can.

I walked out and was greeted by Sora who held up a bowl of soup to me.

"So how's she doing?"

"Joe said she'll be fine in a couple of hours and that it was nothing to worry about."

"Well I'm glad to hear that, but there's more you're not telling me right?"

"Heh you know me too well Sor. It's just that well…I felt helpless. I was right in front of her and I couldn't do anything." I admitted. A shadow suddenly fell on me, blocking the warmth of the sun.

"What kind of leader are you? You can't even take care of your own sister!" Matt glared at me. "Why should we even follow you as a leader?" And he walked away.

Sora's POV

"Why should we even follow you as a leader?"

"Don't listen to him Tai" I told Tai after Matt left,

Tai stared at where Matt stood for a long time with empty brown eyes. Then he slowly got up and said barely above a whisper said, "He's right." And walked away.

I sigh and grabbed the bowl of soup which he didn't touch at all and went back to look for more berries. I knew that Tai's feeling very insecure as the leader now because of what's happening to Kari and Matt talking to him like that doesn't help. Neither is the fact that Tai's in love and doesn't even know it. Haha yeah the idea of Tai falling in love with Matt is pretty funny when you first think about it but I guess you can say that I got used to it and they make a cute couple.

It's not hard to figure out that he is though, every decision he makes; he automatically looks towards Matt and I can see that he's looking for approval. I once was the lookout for the night and saw Tai almost subconsciously scoot towards Matt in his sleep. If I had a camera, I would've taken a photo but sadly I didn't and a great scene was missed.

It's true that I do like Tai a bit more than as a best friend but just seeing him look at Matt was enough to let me know that they were meant for each other.

I found the red berries that Kari loved and picked a bowl full of it then made my way back to the camp. I hope these cheer her and Tai up.

Tai's POV

"Why should we even follow you as a leader?" Matt glared.

Something deep inside me broke like a glass vase thrown from a tall building, the millions of pieces of glass scattered everywhere. First I let Kari down and got her sick, now Matt doubts my place as the leader of the group. Even if it was anyone else saying that, it would hurt but this was different.

I always wanted to be friends with Matt but all my efforts were pushed away coldly and I gave up, but I couldn't help looking at him whenever I could and watching from afar made me realize that I couldn't let go.

!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$a few weeks later!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!

I kneeled down and picked berries from the very bottom of the bush and piled them on the already full bowl and hurried to camp. Kari never really like the idea of me going away for too long to look for food. She kept saying that what I normally brought was enough but I wanted her to get as much as she could.

We hadn't moved away from the cave from when Kari was sick mostly because I couldn't make a decision. What would happen if we moved out? How long till we would find another safe shelter again? These thought came more frequently than before when I just went along with my guts.

The fire inside the cavern was illuminating everything in its orange glow and I left the bowl next to my little sister and walked over to the entrance and stood guard. It's the farthest away from the fire because it was lit deep inside so that the cold wind won't couldn't reach it.

Mimi was supposed to take the shift a few hours ago but I didn't want to disturb her, how would I feel if I was woken up from my much needed sleep and sit in the cold staring at nothing? I sure wouldn't like and I'm sure Mimi would be pissed.

Next morning 

My head spun as I woke everyone up for the day and they all went to their separate jobs, Kari and TK's going to pick the berries, Mimi and Joe clean up camp, Matt's going to check if there are other digimon nearby, and Izzy's going to see if he can locate the Dark Masters on his computer.

Sora and I were fish duty today and as we made our way toward the lake not too far, I noticed that Sora's been giving me a weird look.

"Is there something wrong Sora?" I asked.

Sora's POV

I've noticed that Tai's been acting strange lately, he would be gone for far too long when he was looking for food alone and he isn't looking too well at all.

There are dark circles under his eyes and a blank look on his face often, this had started when Kari got sick and now that she's better I thought that it'll stop but it's just got worse. Even the way he walks shows me that there's something wrong but maybe that's just my imagination, I've been really worried about everything since Kari's sickness too.

"Is there something wrong Sora?" Tai asked me and I realized that I've been staring at him for a bit too long.

"Err… it's nothing…but Tai you know that you can count on us if you need to." I said

"Of course Sora." He said back with a monotonous voice.

We reached the lake in a few more minutes but Tai had a really pained expression and leaned against a tree at the edge of the clearing.

"Are you okay?" I asked worried

Tai's POV

"Err… it's nothing…but Tai you know that you can count on us if you need to." She replied.

"Of course Sora." I said back, my head was too jumbled up to think of anything.

We finally reached the lake in what felt like hours, my vision was swimming and I leaned on a tree for support.

"Are you okay?" Sora asked obviously worried about me. I wiped my brow and smiled to reassure her without talking, I didn't have the energy to form words with my mouth anymore it felt like I would throw up if I tried to and I don't want to worry her any more than I already have.

Kari's POV

Big brother's taking a long time to just get fish, I think there's something up with him, TK and I've been done 30 minutes ago. Now it's midday and the sun was up high in the sky, I've noticed that Tai's been acting differently too, I haven't seen him eat since I got better and he took watch for the night frequently.

Tai finally showed up a few minutes later with more than enough fish for the day with Sora behind him watching carefully. She took me aside and sat down nest to me on a pile of leaves.

"I think there's something wrong with Tai," she began, "He looks-"her sentence was cut off by yelling by the fire.

"Well we have to do something Tai! We can't stay here forever until the Dark Masters find us!" Matt shouted then started going off into a rant. Tai just held up his hand to silence him and said barely over a whisper, "We'll leave in the morning," and walked off.

"Stop yelling at my brother!" I yelled at Matt. He didn't know what to react to that and just stayed silent.

"Tai's under a lot of pressure just leave him alone." Sora joined in.

"Well we need him to be the leader for once and stop acting like a kid!" Matt countered.

"He _is _a kid! What do you expect for him to do? Just suddenly grow up and be the adult?"

He stayed silent for a while to that but finally answered quietly, "sorry…"

"I'm not the one you're supposed to be saying that to." And she sat down, leaving Matt standing there awkwardly.

Tai's POV

"Well we have to do something Tai! We can't stay here forever until the Dark Masters find us!" Matt shouted. He starting yelling some more but I couldn't hear him with the ringing in my ears. I slowly raised my hand and whispered, "We'll leave in the morning."

Matt looked taken back by this but I turned around and went to the cave and sat down by the opening. My head weighed like a ton of rocks and even the slightest motions sent the world spinning but I didn't focus on that. My heart hurt for some reason, it wasn't like when I got a cut and it stung, it was a dull ache spreading from my chest to the corners of my body.

The Next Day

Matt's POV

I was leading the way which was different than usual. Tai took the back of the group and followed, not saying a word or laughing like he usually is. Come to think of it, he hasn't been the same since Kari got sick. I mean I understand that he was worried for his little sister but she's better now and there's nothing more to that.

Tai… what is he to me? He's obviously a rival but there's always been something more, like my face flushed one time when he smiled at me. SMILED at me and I blushed, maybe…I might…even like him?

"Matt!" Sora's voice broke my train of thoughts and I looked back and saw a sight that was almost identical to a week ago. Tai had fallen and Sora was cradling his head with Kari sobbing by his side. Before I knew it I was beside him, hand on his forehead to feel that it was boiling hot.

"Quick, we need to get back to the cave!" I shouted and lifted Tai up by his shoulders and legs and ran to the cave which we spent the last week. I could easily see his ribs beneath his dark blue shirt and flushed face from the fever. I quickly brushed the dried leaves away and gently laid Tai down onto the ground and stared helplessly at his face, not being able to do anything to make things better. Maybe this was how he felt when Kari got sick; not being able to do anything for the person you cared about. And it must've been worse because she's his little sister, the most precious thing he has.

Joe came up from behind me and paused, "Sorry Tai." And lifted his shirt up. Sora, Mimi, Izzy, and Kari gasped when they saw what the blue shirt was covering. I could easily count his ribs and his stomach was hollow.

"How did this happen?" Mimi squeaked.

"I suspected that he wasn't eating as much but this is…" Joe muttered. "Ok I want every one of you out; I'll take care of this."

We quickly made our way out and Kari broke down, sobbing into Sora's shoulder.

"See what you did? This is all because of you!" Sora shouted. I've never seen Sora this mad about anything so I was taken back but return with full force.

"How is it my fault that he didn't take care of himself?"

"He was already worried sick about Kari and you made him doubt his leadership! Do you know how hard it is to be the leader? And you just kept making him feel insecure about the decisions he made."

"When have I-"

"Don't tell me you don't remember all the times you two fought because of what he thought was best!" she finished. "How he would ever fall in love with you is my question." She added quietly.

"Wait what!?"

"Oops…." She covered her mouth and sheepishly looked at her feet but I couldn't care less what she was doing. Tai _loves _me? H-how is that possible? He never showed any signs of him even remotely liking me. Then I remembered from the first day of camp before all these messes were thrown onto us.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~flashback to first day of camp~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ugh stupid summer camp, I know that dad just made me come here so he could get rid of me for a month. Now I'm stuck with laughing kids actually _happy_ to be here and others with _moms _here to drop them off and say their last good-byes. There were some that were actually crying because they were separated from their parents, I couldn't wait to get on the bus and get away from my dad.

"Hi are you new I know most of the kids here because I come every year but I haven't seen you around before oh yeah and my name's Tai by the way." A kid with puffy brown hair said to me really fast. He looked like he was blushing but I brushed it off thinking that his face was flushed from running around playing soccer which he obviously has been doing with the dirty soccer ball under his arm. That kid fit so many words in one sentence with one breath that it took me a while to understand him and reply.

"Yeah I'm new but I'm not one of those kids that need to make a friend the minute they're here, in fact I don't need friends at all so don't waste your time." I said coldly. The kid's face fell a bit but came back with a bigger smile which was saying something.

"At least tell me your name." he whined. Sighing I replied, I knew he wouldn't leave me alone until he got his answer.

"Yamato Ishida, but most people call me Matt."

"Nice to meet you Matt." He then shook my hand really hard and was gone, leaving me staring at the spot like an idiot.

I saw him a couple of time more that day trying to get me to talk with some of his friend but I refused and he soon gave up. I realized that he actually might've liked me and tried to get my attention but I just ignored him making him lose hope.

Everyone had already made their way to the cave and I was the only one outside so I turned around and sat at the bottom of a tree to sort out my thoughts.

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Done! This was going to be a one shot but it got too long for me.


	2. Chapter 2

The Next Day

I woke up under the same tree from last night and saw Kari in front of me.

"Kari, what's going on?"

"My brother's fever has gone down, just thought that you might want to know." She replied then walked off to the camp.

I expected camp to be mostly deserted but everybody was lying around and not really doing anything.

"Hey what's going on?" I asked the group.

"What do you mean?" Mimi asked innocently.

"Why aren't any of you guys looking for food?" I asked.

"Well I am guessing that since we don't have a leader anymore, everybody's slacking off." Izzy replied not looking up from his laptop.

"Hey! You're not doing anything either!" Mimi protested.

"Well my job is to scan for the Dark Masters which I am doing right now."

"Don't get all smart with me!" Mimi squealed, getting flustered.

"Guys stop! We don't need to fight about this, and we need people to look for food." I cut in to the argument before it got too bad and looked around the circle of kids, expecting someone to take charge and tell us what to do. Six faces stared back at me and I realized that they were expecting me to take charge.

"Wha- I can't be the leader." I protested.

"Why not, Tai did it and nobody told him he had to." Sora said from her spot on the ground, not making eye contact.

"F-fine uh, Mimi and Izzy go look for more fire wood."

"What?! I don't want to do that I'll get my dress dirty!" she whined.

"How do I look for the Dark Masters when I'm looking for wood?" Izzy protested.

"Just do it." I said, they walked off grumbling. Somehow I got everyone doing something or another and sat down next to Tai.

I now realized that Tai was the most mature person in this group, when everybody needed someone to look up to he took the weight of being a leader onto his shoulder and made sure that everyone was as happy as he could. He could've just sat back and whine along with us that he didn't want to be here and that he was hungry but he lead us even when he was doubting himself and didn't know what would come next.

He looked beautiful even when he had a fever, I don't know how I missed it for so long. His eyes were closed of course but I could remember the exact shade of brown they are no problem. Just looking at him made me blush furiously, can I really be in love with him?

He suddenly got up and started coughing, "Tai? Are you alright?" he calmed down a bit then answered, "What happened?" then I had to explain all that happened since he passed out. We sat in silence for a while before he spoke again.

"Did Kari worry about me?" he asked testily.

"Yes she was worried sick."

He frowned at that answer and muttered something under his breath.

"It's ok Tai her worrying about you is normal, who wouldn't worry when you're sick?"

"That's the point Matt, I don't want anyone to worry or stress over me that just makes me a waste of space." He added the last part barely over a whisper.

"No Tai you are not a waste of space, and people make mistakes too why can't you?" I said while taking his hand in mine. His face turned red at that and I'm sure this time it wasn't because of the fever.

"B-but…" he stuttered, face as red as a tomatoe.

"Stop worrying about the little stuff and just focus on getting better." I gently laid him back down and called for Joe, good thing I told him to stay and clean up camp.

"What's the matter?" he asked

"Tai's up." I replied.

We ran to the cave and kneeled down next to the sick boy.

"How are you feeling Tai?"

"Much better, the room's not spinning and I don't have a ringing in my ears." He said.

"I suspected as much, but Tai, why aren't you eating right?" he asked again. He stayed silent to that for a while, seeing far off.

"I didn't want her to worry anymore; I wanted her to feel safe." He said

"That isn't the way to do that Tai, you just made her worry about you even more." Joe reasoned.

"Well what am I supposed to do? If I felt like crap, what would she feel like?!" he shouted tears brimming his eyes, "How can I let her feel like that?! She's only a little girl!" with that he broke down completely. Joe, not knowing how to comfort people, left only muttering "I know Tai." Under his breath.

I pulled him close and whispered, "You know, you're not the only one worried about Kari, we all are and we try our best to protect the younger ones." He didn't reply and cried harder into my shoulder. "I really respect you for that though; you were devoted enough to Kari to go that far to make sure that she was happy," I grinned, "I guess that's why I love you." He stopped suddenly and I froze as well just realizing I said that out aloud.

He likes you too remember?! My brain reasoned but my heart wasn't listening as Tai looked up and stared.

"R-really?" he asked, "do you really love me?" his voice was barely over a whisper. My voice was lost and I nodded my head slightly to confirm he heard right. His face broke in a wide smile and wrapped his arms around me and mumbled in my shoulder,

"You know Matt; I think I love you too."

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END OF BOOK

No kissing anywhere, didn't feel up to that.


End file.
